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Wed, 07 Nov 2012 13:43:34 -0700

I talk too much for Tumblr! You can find me as Dear Skelly on Blogspot.

http://dearskelly.blogspot.com

Recipes, makeup swatches, instant noodle reviews, REAL LIFE, etc. Everything TL;DR for tumblr.

This tumblr will probably be used for lurking purposes only. And the ask box too!

The Move Out Clean Pt. II: The Kitchen

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:43:00 -0600

It’s been a busy week, but I was able to type up part two! Today, we get to deal with the kitchen. Other than the bathroom(s), I believe that the kitchen is the most important room to thoroughly clean. Sometimes, it can be the toughest.

A disgusting kitchen can be the difference between:

a homeowner making a sale or not
a tenant deciding to rent a space or not
a landlord deciding to charge extra money or hold on to a deposit or not

I’ve met so many homeowners/landlords who were furious because they thought they would have to replace an oven or a refrigerator. If you don’t take care of your appliances, they will get gross and look absolutely unsalvageable. However, even though these things can look like a lost cause, with a little time and effort you can make a gross old fridge look brand new… or at least clean enough to want to put your food in.

The Move Out Clean: Part Two – The Kitchen

What you might need:

Gloves
Dish soap
Rags (Microfiber recommended)
Dish sponge (the kind with a soft side and a coarse side)
Steel wool
Scouring pad
Your favorite kitchen or all-purpose cleaner
Lightly-scented cleaner (such as Clorox Green Works) or heavily diluted all-purpose cleaner
Murphy’s Oil Soap diluted in warm water, for wood cabinets
Old English, for wood cabinets
Your favorite floor cleaner (see previous post for recommendations and tips)
Oven cleaner
Kitchen-safe degreaser — Depending on the product you use, its ‘kitchen safeness’ may just depend on how much you dilute it. Oil Eater and Proforce make great degreasers.
Weiman Glass Top Stove Cleaner
Weiman Stainless Steel Polish
Weiman Granite Cleaner

What to do:

The REFRIGERATOR: If you’re renting a space that comes with a fridge, don’t just take your food out and leave. CLEAN IT.

Take the shelves out and completely clean the inside. When you do this,avoid using bleach or any product with a heavy bleach scent. It lingers and it will freak the next tenant out. Picture it—Sicily, 1912: You move into a new place, buy groceries, open the fridge and BAM! You’ve just been assaulted with the scent of bleach. Would you put your food in there? If you MUST use something heavy–scented, dilute it with water. After you’re done, leave the fridge open to air out. If someone’s moving in right away, keep baking soda or coffee grounds in the fridge to soak up the smell. Personally, I like using Clorox’s Green Works line for fridges. The products are lightly scented and they work great. Can’t find it or low on products? Try using good ol’ dish soap and water. Have a sponge handy for tough food stains and wipe clean with a cloth. I like using microfiber cloths for this because they’re easy to scrub with and won’t scratch the plastic or glass.

Clean out the rubber stripping around the refrigerator and freezer door. A toothbrush works best for this. Brush the crumbs out, spray a little cleaner and scrub if it’s grimy, and then wipe dry.

Do not forget to wipe the top of the refrigerator. I don’t know what it is, but people always look for this. Wipe down the front and sides of the refrigerator as well. Make it look nice and clean.

Now, pull the refrigerator out from its space. Most refrigerators are on wheels, so this should be pretty easy for one person. Slide it out and sweep behind it. Wipe down the wall and baseboard behind it as well because it WILL be dusty. Hand-mop the spot with a damp rag (scrub up any crusty food if necessary) and push the fridge back. You will never have to look at that thing ever again.

If your fridge does not have wheels, have someone help you, and be careful not to damage your linoleum or laminate. Try your best to lift and not slide.

Prevention: Keep your fridge clean! If something spills, wipe it out. Every now and then, clean out your fridge. Throw out old food, clean up any crumbs, spills, or anything leaving a funky smell. Try leaving an opened container or baking soda or coffee grounds in your fridge to soak up any bad smells.

THE STOVE TOP AND OVEN: Scrub them ‘til they shine!

One thing landlords worry about a lot when they asses a rental property, especially one that hasn’t been taken care of well, is that they’ll have to replace the stove. LANDLORDS – By picking a great cleaning company, you can save money! A stove or crusty oven might look like a lost cause until you find that great company that puts time and effort into it. Tenants—cleaning ovens can SUCK, but you can do it.

THE OVEN

If you have a self-cleaning oven – GREAT! Spray it down, turn on the self-cleaner, and let it do its work. What it does is it burns the food droppings to a crisp so that it just crumbles off. DO NOT FORGET to wipe it out with a damp rag when it’s done cleaning. Still a little bit of crust? Spray some degreaser and get it off with steel wool.

No self-cleaner? Pick out an oven cleaner of your choice, spray the entire inside of the oven (bottom, sides, top, back, and inside of the door – glass included) and go do something else for a few hours. Check on it every now and then, spray a few extra coats if you need to, and then come back to it. Most of the icky stuff should just slide right out with a damp rag. Like the above step, if you have any extra stubborn crust, scrub at it with steel wool. Give it a final wipe with a damp rag. If there are any cloudy, white streaks from the cleaning product, water and a clean rag will do the trick. Clean grease or crust off of racks as well.

WARNING: Oven cleaners are VERY harsh on your skin. WEAR GLOVES. You might even have to change your gloves a few times, especially if you have long nails or are using steel wool. If your oven is really bad and you have to spend a lot of time with your head in it while you clean, WEAR A FACE MASK!

THE STOVE TOP

BURNERS AND DRIP PANS: Remove the burners and drip pans (if any), soak them in a sink full of dish soap and warm water, and scrub them. I’d suggest using steel wool for tough spots. If the drip pans are beyond saving, you or your landlord can buy new ones. They’re cheap and come in packs of two and four. If you’re feeling generous – go for it. Otherwise, that’s a normal expense that your landlord should take care of. Clean any grease or crust off of the burners (electric stove) before you put them back.

On most electric or gas stoves, you should be able to lift the top up. Before you put the burners back, try it! Food falls down there all the time, so if you have access, wipe out all the crumbs and crusties.

Spray the rest of the stove top with your favorite kitchen cleaner or degreaser and wipe clean with a rag. You might have to scrub at tough spots with the coarse side of a sponge.

On every stove, the dials should be able to pop right off. Pull them off and let them soak in the soap and hot water. If they’re super greasy, let them soak in a sink of hot water and degreaser. Once they’ve had a while to soak, scrub them clean. I usually use the coarse side of a dish sponge for this.

Glass stove-tops: There are a lot of different products out there made for glass ceramic stove tops. I like Weiman’s Glass Stove Top Cleaner. Squirt a generous amount onto the stove top, scrub gently, and then wipe clean with a damp cloth. I like using microfiber towels on glass stove tops because they don’t scratch and they’re great to buff away streaks or cloudiness on the stove top. Rough materials can scratch these stove tops.

THE STOVE HOOD (for those who don’t have above-stove microwaves):

Scrub the cooking grease off of the stove hood. This includes all around the inside, the light shade (if there is one), and wiping the outside of the stove hood as well. This is hard if you haven’t kept up with cleaning it. Spray a coat of degreaser, let it sit, and then scrub away. Microfiber works well, and so does the coarse side of a sponge.

In your stove hood is a vent cover. If you cook a lot, it’s probably caked with grease. You can try washing it, but honestly – I would let the landlord replace it. They’re cheap and that’s normal wear and tear for anyone that uses a stove.

If you have a microwave instead of a stove hood, clean the bottom of it.

MOVE YOUR STOVE. This is one of the most important parts of cleaning your kitchen. If your stove can move – pull it out. Wipe down the sides and clean beneath/behind the stove. Sweep it out and mop. When you’re finished, put it back. If you can’t move your stove, pull out the drawer below your oven. Sweep out all of the mess from under the stove, and then clean the drawer and put it back. You will find toys that you never knew you had.

If you did not pull out your drawer to clean under the oven, wipe the drawer clean anyway.

The best way to prevent being stuck with a nasty oven is to clean it periodically. You put too much batter in a cake pan and it flowed over? Clean it when your oven cools down! Don’t let all that food and grease hang out in your oven for years.

MICROWAVE

Dirty microwaves are such an epic turn-off! Clean it! Try not to use any heavy-scented cleaners, like bleach or Clorox with Bleach. Use regular soap and water or a diluted all-purpose cleaner. Microfiber rags work wonderfully for this. Don’t forget to wipe any drips. Clean the top and the sides of the door as well. For the front, clean it with the same cleaner, or if it’s streaky and you’re particular, you can use Windex.

WALL AND BACK SPLASH

As mentioned in the previous post, spot-clean the walls. The back splash or wall behind your stove is one of the most important places to clean, because it’s probably the greasiest. If you keep up with cleaning this area it won’t be so bad, but if not, you’re going to be scrubbing until your arms burn. Back splashes are the easiest to clean, because even with just a bit of scrubbing with a microfiber towel, cooking grease will come right off. If you don’t have a back splash, I’d invest in one, quick! (If you own your kitchen, I guess.) I’ve seen gorgeous DIY backsplashes that don’t cost a lot of money. Colored glass tiles are great for this. I know a lady who has linoleum tile as a back splash, and because she wipes it every time she cleans her kitchen, it’s as pristine as it was when she put it there 30 years ago. Matte tiles are harder to clean. Try using an all-purpose cleaner and a microfiber towel. If that doesn’t help, upgrade to a degreaser. “Goo Gone” can help too.

DISHWASHER

If you use your dishwasher often, it probably won’t be too dirty. Clear out any food particles and run an empty load.

Wipe the edges of the door.

Wipe the front of the door. There’s a panel right below the door – wipe the top edge. It gets dusty!

CABINETS, DRAWERS, AND PANTRIES

Cabinets should be cleaned on the inside and outside. On the inside,wipe out every shelf. Scrub off any crusty food if necessary. Worn or dirty shelf liners should be thrown away. This applies to pantries as well. Clean the shelves and the floors.

If you have wood cabinets, I like to use Murphy’s Oil Soap and water to gently clean them. Be sure to dilute your Murphy’s, otherwise, you can destroy your wood finish. Scrub off any crust or grime and wipe clean. For painted cabinets or laminate cabinets (which are AMAZING and so easy to clean!), use an all-purpose cleaner or regular dish-soap and water. If your wood is looking a little dull, oil them with Old English. It will make them smell good and look amazing. Cabinet doors by the sink and stove will have the most food spills and grease splatters.

Clean the TOP of the cabinets! They get super dusty, so try using a damp rag to pick up the dust. Don’t be bummed out if you can’t get it spotless. Kitchen grease makes it difficult to get this area totally clean.

Do not forget to wipe out the cabinet under the sink! I know no one likes to go down there, but you have to.

All drawers should be wiped clean.

COUNTER TOPS

Sanitize with your favorite kitchen cleaner or all-purpose cleaner. For tough spots, scrub at it with a sponge, and then wipe clean.

Marble counter tops: If your all-purpose cleaner is streaking, try Green Works Glass & Natural Surface cleaner. It’s meant to sanitize and shine. If you’re still having trouble, buff with a dry microfiber.

Granite counter tops: Regular soap and water works great on granite. There are also stone and granite-specific cleaners, like the one that Weiman makes.

Tile counter tops with hard, grimy grout: If soap, water, and a toothbrush don’t work for the grout, you can try using bleach water. Sometimes these are just tough.

SINK AND DISPOSAL

The sink should most definitely be scoured. A bit of Ajax and a sponge will do the job, but be sure to rinse well with hot water; otherwise, the scrub will dry and leave a cloudy film. For tough stains, use a scouring pad.

If the garbage disposal smells, you can clean it by either buying a package of disposal cleaning capsules (which are so fun to watch work!) or by using soap and water. Run a steady stream of hot water on the disposal side of the sink for about a minute, then squeeze a bit of dish soap down there. Run the blade for another minute when the water is still on. Turn off the disposal, and then stop the stream. The disposal should smell better. If not, drop a lemon peel in the disposal and turn it on!

STAINLESS STEEL

I hate stainless steel. It’s easy to clean, but not easy to keep looking nice and new. They are fingerprint and smudge magnets. Wipe clean with a damp cloth and then finish with a stainless steel polish like Weiman Stainless Steel Polish.

TIP: If you’re just showing a house and want your stainless steel to look super nice and shiny, you can put a bit of baby oil on a dry cloth and gently rub it onto the appliances. It looks nice, but it can be a dirt magnet.

Sweep and mop the floor. Refer to the previous chapter for tips on how to deal with different types of floors. Remember when I mentioned it was handy to have a coarse sponge or a mop with a scrubbing pad handy? This is the area where that counts the most!

The Laundry Room

The laundry room is pretty easy. To be honest, I only paired it with the kitchen because it’s the only other room where you’re expected to move things.

If your home comes with a washing machine – clean it! Wipe the entire outside. Open the lid and clean around the rim. If your washing machine smells a little funky, run a load of bleach water.

Move your washer and dryer so that you can clean behind/under them. Dust off the connections, the wall, the baseboards, and sweep the floor.

If there are any shelves in your laundry room, wipe them clean.

Mop the floor, obviously.

Of course, everything touched up in PART ONE should be observed in these two rooms. Baseboards, ceiling fans, windows, walls, baseboards, and everything else mentioned should be cleaned.

Almost there! Two parts left. Next: The Bathrooms. These can get pretty scary.

PREVIOUS: Part One – The Basics

The Move Out Clean Pt. I: The Basics

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 19:54:00 -0600

I’ve been pretty absent from the internet! I had a little time recently and started writing down recipes and taking photos, but then I got sidetracked. An out of state friend of mine who’s moving out of a rental home called me and said, “I thought the house was clean, but when we got everything out, I realized how bad it is. If I don’t get it clean, I’ll lose my deposit and have to pay an extra $500. I don’t have the money right now for that or to hire a cleaning company. What do I have to do to pass the inspection?”

I hear this a lot. In my real life, I run a cleaning company that specializes in getting homes (apartments, houses, condos) ready for landlord inspections, rentals, or to be put on the market. I trade in my black lipstick for a little more business-friendly plum and deal with homeowners, tenants, and real estate agents on a daily basis. I’ve dealt with homes ranging from cheap apartments to million dollar houses and the standards are all the same. These are the things I teach when training employees, and these are the things I think about when I go out myself and clean empty houses.

“The most important thing,” I told my friend, “Is to clean EVERYTHING. From the ceiling to the floor, it should all be clean.”

But what does that really mean?

Most of the stuff I’m going to be telling you, I told her over the phone. Some of it I remembered later and included in texts and emails. After it was all said and done, she and her husband cleaned their home– and yay! They got to keep their deposit and their $500. She asked me to write this all down for her to keep for future reference. The majority of my friends are people who don’t own their own homes, so I thought this could be useful to them as well. It’s long-winded, so I’ve split it into parts.

If you’re renting a home or thinking of renting out your home, these are things you should know. Depending on the person you’re buying or renting from, you should be able to look at the space you’re considering, and say, “These things need to be cleaned before I move in.” As a landlord, these are the things you look at and say to your current tenant, “This needs to be cleaned so that the next people can move in.” If you’re hiring a cleaning company, you these are things you should look for in a walk-through. Their job is not done if these things aren’t clean.

When you move into a place that’s new to you, the last thing you want is reminders of the last people who lived there. You don’t want to find clues in the house that tell you that they really liked spaghetti, they never mopped their tile, or that the woman who lived there was a brunette who never cleaned the bathroom sink, so why would anyone else want to know these things about you? If you’re cleaning your own space, or having someone do it for you, make sure there’s no trace of your family left behind. Clean like you’re trying to impress the pickiest person. You’re done when it’s clean, not when you think it looks okay enough to maybe pass inspection. If you can do better, do better.

I’m going to go over the most common things landlords, buyers, and potential renters look for in regards to cleanliness. This is what my company would classify as a “deep cleaning” or a “move-out cleaning”. This is what you have to do if you want to pass that white-glove inspection and hold on to your money.

Part One: The Basics - Ceilings to Floors

This is the easiest part and most of the time requires the least amount of scrubbing. These are things that are always checked in a “white-glove” inspection. In every room in your home, these are things that must be done.

The items you’ll need depend on what you have in your house. You might need:

A bucket of dish soap and warm water
A spray bottle with your favorite all-purpose cleaner (I’m in love with Mr. Clean with Febreeze)
A gentle cleaner (such as Clorox Green Works all-purpose cleaner) or your favorite cleaner, but heavily diluted
A bottle of half vinegar and half water, lemon juice, or your favorite stain/odor remover
Feather duster
Stepping stool / Ladder / Extension pole for high places
Rags (I recommend having both terry and microfiber)
Floor cleaner

o Laminate/vinyl/tile: A diluted all-purpose cleaner works fine, but of course, you can use a specific floor cleaner for this. For an extra shine, you can add a finish. Pledge and Orange Glo make great floor finishing waxes.

o Wood: Check the directions on your floor cleaner of choice. Some require you mop with plain water first (like Orange Glo’s 4-in-1), and others, just spray from a bottle and mop with a damp mop (like Bona Wood Floor Cleaner). Murphy’s Oil Soap is a great wood conditioner and cleaner when diluted, but this should not be used often.

Broom
Mop
Vacuum
Sponge (yellow with a green coarse side works fine)
Mr. Clean Magic Eraser (optional, but recommended)
Murphy’s Oil Soap diluted with water (for wood work)
Old English Wood Polish (wood work, optional)
Windex
Paper towels
Trash bags

What to do:

Clean the ceiling fans and light fixtures.

For fans, use a feather duster to push the dust from the TOP of the fan blades onto the ground. You might have to wipe the edges as well. If you have a ceiling fan in your kitchen (which is gross, by the way, I don’t know why people do this), you will probably have to get up on a step-ladder with a damp rag and wipe it down. The grease from the kitchen will make the dust stick.

Dust the the light fixtures – bulbs, covers, and all. Use a duster. If you can’t reach, use an extension pole or ladder. If your bulb cover has caked on dust, you might have to take it off and wash it in soap and water. Shake out any dust or bugs first. In bathrooms with vanity lights, turn the light off and wipe them clean. You might have to Windex the panel if it’s glass or mirror. Dust the top.

Chandeliers: Dust well, and then remove individual glass or crystal pieces and wash them in soap and water. You can Windex them as well.

PREVENTION: Light fixtures and fan blades should be dusted regularly. When you don’t dust your light bulbs, the dust burns and cakes. Chandeliers should be dusted as well, but I only clean the glass in mine about once a year. Some people go longer.

Clean in and around your windows. What does this mean?

OPEN the window and clean out all the dirt from the window tracks. Even if you have a screen, there will be dirt in the window tracks. This is one of the first things people look for. If there are a lot of bugs, use the hose attachment on your vacuum to suck them up. Then, use a damp rag and wipe all the dirt out.

Wipe down the window sill. This can get dusty if you don’t clean it. If you have windows close to the ground and you have dogs, I can tell you now that there are little dog boogers all over it. They like to go up to the window, breathe while they lurk on your neighbors, and leave gooey presents behind. Spray the window sill with something gentle (I dilute my favorite all-purpose cleaner with water or use a Clorox Green Works All-Purpose Cleaner), let it sit for a minute, and then wipe it up. You might have to scrub a little.

Window frame: Wipe the top of the window frame. They will probably be dusty.

Clean the glass from top to bottom. I don’t think I need to tell you how to Windex your glass, but don’t be lazy. If you’re too short to reach the top of the window, stand on something. Try not to make it streaky. If there are any spots that are still stuck, scrape it off with your nail and wipe the spot again. Try looking at the window from all angles, because the way the light hits the glass will affect how clean your glass looks. I prefer Windexing with a dry microfiber towel rather than a paper towel because microfiber can scrub without scratching and is a great buffing tool. It can leave lint, so you have to wipe carefully. Your landlord does not expect you to clean the glass from the outside of the house, so don’t worry about that bird-poop or smudge outside. If you are a landlord, you should have horribly dirty windows power-washed from the exterior.

If your apartment or house came with blinds, CLEAN THEM. If you clean your blinds regularly, as you should, you might only have to dust them and maybe spot-clean them with a damp rag when you’re ready to move. If you’ve never cleaned your blinds before, you will have a problem. With bigger blinds, you can clean each panel individually with a rag or take out the panels and wash them. With smaller blinds, I would take them out of the window and let them soak in a tub full of warm water and soap. After about an hour, rinse them off (scrub with a sponge if you have to), and let them dry outside. Don’t forget to put them back up when you’re done and don’t leave in in direct sunlight, otherwise the plastic may distort.

If you have SUPER high windows that are not normally accessible, try to at least clean the ledge. Use an extension pole or ladder.

Window wells in basements should be cleaned out. Open the window and pick up the trash or vacuum it out. If there’s a screen preventing you from getting out there, carefully take it out, or try your best to clean it from the outside. No one wants to wake up in the morning, draw the curtains, and look at your trash.

Windows are not hard to clean, except for the blinds if you let them get bad, but to save time when you’re doing your deep clean, you should clean your windows every time you clean your house. This includes wiping out the tracks (especially after rain) and dusting your blinds. These are things that you should be doing!

Wipe the walls!

Spot-clean the walls. Sometimes things spill and we forget, don’t see it or some people are just nasty and don’t clean it up. Clean any liquid, food, boogers, or mystery splashes off of the wall. Dish soap, water, and a damp rag will be just fine. Like above, for tough spots, use a sponge but do not scrub the paint off. If you have children, invest in a pack of Magic Erasers! They’re the best things I can think of to safely remove permanent marker and crayons. Be careful not to scrub the paint off of the walls. Deep scrapes from furniture in the paint is a lost cause. If the rest of the walls look great except for that, you might be alright. That depends on your landlord. If you own the house, consider spot-painting over scuffs and scrapes rather than re-painting the whole house for a new tenant.

Get all dust and cobwebs from the wall and corners with a broom or feather duster. If you’re not tall enough, use an extension pole, step-ladder, or full-sized ladder. If you have any beams or ledges, dust those as well.

Tip: If you have smooth/glossy paint on your walls, microfiber towels are great to clean with. If your walls are matte, use a terry cloth, otherwise, the microfiber will get caught often and leave particles behind. Rinse often. When your water gets icky or you realize your rag is just rubbing hair and dust around, change your water.

Heating/AC vent covers in the walls and on the floors!

If you clean these regularly, you may only have to dust with a duster or wipe with a rag. If not, you’re going to have caked on dirt. These vent covers are usually only screwed in with two screws and can easily be taken off. Soak them in a sink or tub with hot water and soap for about an hour, then rinse. If you can’t get them off for some reason, spray them with your all-purpose cleaner and wipe clean with a rag. If you have to scrub, use a toothbrush. I’ve carved chunks out of my nails with vent slots, so be careful.

Doors

Take your damp rag and wipe every door. Pay special attention to the area around the door knobs, because that can get nasty. If your door has little ledges, be sure to wipe all the dust off of them. Sanitize door knobs.

Wipe the top of the door frame. It will be dusty, and it will be checked, so get it good.

Door hinges can get dusty as well, so wipe those clean.

FRONT DOOR: Give it the same treatments as the others. Wipe it clean. Wipe the outside too if it’s dirty. If your door has glass, clean it.

BACK DOOR: Vacuum all the dirt out of the tracks with your hose attachment, and then wipe it clean. Clean the inside and outside of the glass. The outside might be a little tougher, and it may not get totally clean, but try.

Clean the baseboards!

Take a damp rag and wipe away all dirt, dust, and pet hair from the baseboards. If you have any stubborn dirt, take a gentle cleaner and a sponge and scrub at it. Be careful not to scrub the paint off. You might have to put a little extra effort on the baseboards in the kitchen or bathrooms. If there are any tough scuff marks, try a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Be careful, because Magic Erasers can take the paint right off of your wood. No go? Leave it be. A little bit of scuffs can be classified as normal wear and tear, so don’t worry too much.

If you have unpainted wood baseboards that are looking a little to’ up, I would suggest putting a coat of wood oil on them. Old English is a classic, looks gorgeous, and smells great. When cleaning unpainted (but finished) wood, it’s okay to use a little bit of Murphy’s Oil Soap diluted in warm water and a rag, but be careful. When Murphy’s is not diluted enough, it can rub the finish off of wood. Do not ever use Murphy’s Oil Soap on unfinished wood. In fact, do not ever use anything other than a damp rag on unfinished wood.

How to prevent being stuck cleaning grimy baseboards when it’s time to move? Clean your baseboards once a month. Get a bucket of soap and water (or a spray bottle with your favorite diluted or gentle cleaner), and a rag, and clean all of your baseboards. That way, when it comes time to move, the only effort you’ll really have to put into the baseboards is wiping off the dusty ones behind furniture.

Floors

o Carpet:

§ It is your landlord’s responsibility to hire a carpet cleaner. However, if you want to avoid a fuss, try spot cleaning any stains in the carpet. Unfortunately, the best way to do this is to get them while they’re still wet. If they’re dry, you can still try. Try saturating the spot with a vinegar and water mixture (half/half) for about 20 minutes. Gently scrub with a sponge, and then rinse the spot with water. Soak it up with a dry rag or paper towels. If that doesn’t work, you can try lemon juice, or your favorite stain remover. If the spot doesn’t come up, at least the smell will. You might have to consider it a loss. Most likely, if the spot isn’t HUUUGE, it will be considered normal wear and tear and you won’t be penalized for it. Speaking of wear and tear, I wouldn’t worry about worn spots in high-traffic areas of your home. If you have huge rips in your carpet from pets, you’re probably not getting your deposit back, but a warn spot in your living room is normal and nothing to freak out over.

WARNING: Sometimes carpet cleaners push all the dirt from the carpet against the baseboards that you have already cleaned. Vacuum your carpet thoroughly before the carpet cleaners arrive. If gunk gets on the baseboards, wipe them with a rag while it’s still wet.

§ When you vacuum, make sure you get EVERY inch of carpet. That means, don’t just push the head around and expect shit to get clean. I’ve seen some people vacuum and it’s ridiculous. Just because YOU know you vacuumed doesn’t mean anyone else does. Make sure every piece of whatever is up off of the floor. Pick up bigger things and throw them out. You might even have scrape or yank food out of the carpet. It happens. When you get that done, you can use your hose attachment to clean the perimeter of EVERY room. You will find dust, beads, paperclips, nails, etc. Be careful and DO NOT skip this step!

§ Don’t forget to clean the stairs. Dust in between railings, if any.

§ Prevention? When something spills or your cat pees, clean it up immediately. In fact, don’t even get a cat. Vacuum regularly and take care of strange odors the moment you smell them. Think about implementing a ‘no shoes in the house’ rule.

o Wood:

§ Wood can be such a pain in the ass to take care of, I know. First off, determine whether your floor is actually wood or just laminate made to look like wood.

§ Clean it. Sometimes, how you clean and what you clean with can depend on what floor cleaner or finish you’re going to use. Check out the directions on the bottle. Some require you clean it with warm water first. Sweep first… obviously. To protect your wood, you should mop it as dryly as possible. This means, get a damp mop and a SPRAY BOTTLE. Spray and wipe. Too much water can get into your wood and distort it. I really like Bona Wood Floor Cleaner. It’s a great product that cleans well, doesn’t streak, and smells nice and fresh. I like Murphy’s Oil Soap as well, but that can be a tricky one. You have to dilute it with water very well, otherwise, you can rub the finish right off of your floor and the product can leave a film if you don’t do it correctly. I’ve had people tell me that they don’t like Murphy’s or they heard it’s bad for your floor, but usually, these people don’t use it correctly. If you clean your wood regularly, as you should, use Murphy’s only about once a month because it is a wonderful wood conditioner. However, using it too often can build up a film.

When mopping, make sure you’re not just pushing the gunk toward the wall. Rinse your mop OFTEN while you clean, otherwise, you will just push the dirt around and the floor will streak.

§ Want your floor to ‘pop’? Put a finishing coat. You don’t have to do this, but if you want to give your floor an extra shine, putting down a finishing coat AFTER you clean your floor should do the trick. Waxing your floor when it’s dirty is the dumbest thing you can do. Two finishes I really like are Orange Glo Hardwood Finish and Pledge with Future Shine Wood Floor Finish. Both products smell great, give a great shine, and protect your floor. Be sure to READ when picking these up, because both brands make finishes for Linoleum/Laminate/Vinyl as well. Look at the floor from all angles and all light while you are cleaning to make sure you didn’t miss an inch. NOTE: Different floors shine differently. It depends on the original finish. Your floor’s finish may not be as shiny as your neighbor’s, so don’t cry a river if it doesn’t glitter when you’re done. If you’re that pressed for a glossy floor, get it buffed or have it refinished. There are refinishing products that do not require sanding. Please be careful when putting products or having things done to a floor that does not belong to you.

§ Scratches in the wood? Pet nails, especially long nails from big dogs can cause these. If the scratches are not too deep, I would recommend the Varathane Floor Restoration System on your floor. You can pick this up at Lowe’s. It’s a three-step system that requires NO sanding. It’s an eight-hour process, but it gives beautiful results. Be sure not to step on the floor after putting down Step 3 until it is completely dry, otherwise, you will have foot prints in your finish. Orange Glo makes a polyurethane refinishing top coat that is pretty inexpensive and works well also.

§ Other distortions: Finding bubbles or strains in your wood? Most likely a liquid problem. Do not mop with too much water and clean spills immediately. If you have dogs, they probably drool when they lay on the floor or splash water when they eat and drink. Give them a carpeted spot or a bed to sleep on, and train them to lay there. Put down a mat (the rubber outdoor mats work the best) under their bowls so that the mess splashes there and not on the floor. For imperfections like these, you may have to have your floor sanded and re-finished.

§ Prevention? Clean your floors regularly and be careful! In order to preserve wood floors, you HAVE to take care of them. Dry mop regularly and condition with Murphy’s Oil Soap once a month. If you’re a homeowner and you live in a dry place, yet have a lot of wood work, invest in a big humidifier. If you have dogs, keep their nails trimmed and give them runners and rugs to walk on. Be careful when moving furniture—this includes chairs around the dinner table, end tables, ect. Lift, don’t slide.

o Vinyl/Linoleum/Laminate

§ This can be a pain in the ass too. If you have smooth linoleum without ridges, pat yourself on the back. It was probably inexpensive and you’re not going to break your butt cleaning it. Sweep well, scrub out any scuffs, and mop.

§ If your floor has ridges, this might take awhile. Here’s why. Looks clean, right? Get on your knees, look at your floor, and now tell me that it looks clean. Dirt and grime gets into the tiny little ridges, and even in textured linoleum that’s supposed to look a little gritty, it’s noticeable. The best thing you can do is get on your hands and knees with a spray-bottle of your favorite cleaner (I’m obsessed with Mr. Clean with Febreeze all-purpose cleaner), a scrub brush, and a rag. Scrub the hell out of those ridges in a circular motion with the brush, and wipe clean with your rag. You can do this tile-by-tile, especially in a small space, or if you’re dealing with a VERY large space and little patience, you can spot clean the worst. Personally, I would sweep the floor first, and then do this tile-by-tile. When you’re done, you won’t have to worry about mopping. The floor will look amazing and smell so clean.

§ Prevention? Mop your floor often. It sucks that I have to write this down, but I’ve gone in houses to do estimates, and I could say right away, “Wow. This person lived here for a year and NEVER mopped their floor.” You can sweep all you want but it’s going to be nasty if you don’t mop it up.

o Ceramic Tile / Any other kind of expensive tile:

§ Sweep, mop, and pat yourself on the back. Is this your house? You probably have enough money to hire someone to do all of this for you anyway.

Tip for mopping: When cleaning the floor, have a sponge handy. When you run across any spots (usually food), scrub it gently and then wipe with the mop. Some mops have scrub pads on them.

If you’re using a spray bottle, make sure your cleaner is diluted heavily with water, otherwise your cleaner will make the floor sticky or cloudy.

Congratulations! You’ve made it through the basics. These are all things you have to remember when cleaning every room in your house. Keep them in mind when you hit the rooms in the next chapters.

Up next: The Kitchen & Laundry Room. This is where shit gets real.

I got to take a peek into my neighbor’s garden yesterday...

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:13:00 -0600

Monster zucchini next to store zucchini

Those thick green stalks? Green onions.

I got to take a peek into my neighbor’s garden yesterday and wanted to share! He doesn’t use any steriods or anything. He just has a super green thumb. Look at those freaking green onions!

By the way, we hadn’t seen him in almost a year before we popped by to say hello. He used to have a major thing for my mom, and the first thing out of his mouth to her?

“Want to see my monster zucchini?”

I died. Yeah, I’m a 21-year-old child.

I love strange people. I’m all over this!

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 15:31:00 -0600

I love strange people. I’m all over this!

This is what I made for dessert. I made a topping with almond...

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 21:16:07 -0600

This is what I made for dessert. I made a topping with almond powder too!

Couldn’t think of anything to say, so have a photo of my...

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 20:50:21 -0600

Couldn’t think of anything to say, so have a photo of my friend Jake and his majestic ginger beard. No lions, no tigers, but the least I can do is offer you beards.

Look at the little curl!

Photo

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 16:03:00 -0600

"Can you make me the green stuff?"

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 15:33:00 -0600

Okay, so, maybe I like making weird-looking things. Deal with it.

This is one of my favorite foods ever. It’s a Caribbean dish called callaloo.

Traditionally, it would be made from callaloo leaves (which it is in the photo below, thanks to a family friend who just came in for a visit), but I learned to make it with spinach (being ‘merican, and all), so that’s how it’s written here. Tastes amazing either way.

Callaloo is one of those Caribbean dishes that varies by the cook. People from different islands and different races make it different ways. That’s just how it is and it’s something that I love. My mother, an Indian/Portuguese/French mix from Trinidad & Tobago, learned it from her Indian mother (also born and raised in Trinidad).

This is best eaten over rice! I’ve read recipes where it’s decribed as a soup… which kind of weirds me out. The okra gives it a kind of goopy texture. It feels fine on rice, but I don’t think I’d eat it alone.

What you need:

1 package of chopped okra
1 bunch of spinach
1 bell pepper (color of your choice), cored & sliced
1/2 tsp thyme
dash of basil
1 tomato, chopped
1 cup or 6 sprigs of parsley
4 cloves garlic, minced
salt to taste
1 can of coconut milk (unsweetened! don’t get that dessert stuff!)
1 can of water (I say can, because after I pour in the coconut milk, I use the same can to pour in water)
1 whole green pepper (w/ stem, must not burst!)
1 tbs butter
pumpkin, fresh handful (optional… but delicious and great for texture!)
green onions, chopped (optional)
crab, shrimp, or chicken (optional)

What to do:

1. Boil all ingredients except the butter in a large stock pot until soft or until okra is mushy. Cover the pot and cook for another 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2. Now, your callaloo should be soft, but, uh, it’s kinda chunky, right? Pour it in your blender and ‘pulse’ it for a few minutes until it’s blended.

3. Smooth as it’s gonna get? Pour it back into your pot and stir in the butter.

Serve over rice!

Since you’ve made this in a stock pot, you might have a lot of left overs. Callaloo can be frozen for a little while and thawed out later.

Enjoy!

Not the most appetizing photo, but I made hummus this morning!...

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 13:57:00 -0600

Not the most appetizing photo, but I made hummus this morning! It’s one of my favorite foods to snack on and it’s so easy to make.

This isn’t really a descriptive recipe, because I do a lot of cooking by taste and I didn’t think about posting this until after… but this is super easy and there aren’t a lot of steps!

Here’s what I did:

1 can of chick peas/garbanzo beans (drained)

1/2 lime (squeeze it for the juice)

1 tsp chopped garlic

a bit of olive oil to blend the beans with

Toss it all in a food processor and blend until it’s creamy.

Garnish with cilantro if you’re fancy and pop open a bag of your favorite pita chips!

Enjoy!